Happy New Year y’all. I’ve been off blogging for a bit because of a series of surgeries between July and December and also doing a reset for the new year in terms of my own goals, attitude and mindset.
I’m back now and you’ll be seeing regular posts this year!
I’ve been thinking a lot about how many of the ways in which powerful women get responded to are all about trying to either take away our power or make us feel like we don’t have the right to have or claim it.
Case in point, i got into a debate on a WOMEN’S forum with a MAN who started telling me that women should not carry guns. Yet he was a gun owner himself.
I had said that women are fully capable of creating societal change with self defense – the real kind, not hiding behind men. He decided to get into an argument with me about it and I asked him how much he knew about the history of Vietnamese women or, for that matter, what he understands about how what’s happening with Ukrainian women now is going to reshape their societal role.
He got ornery and i said, “you know, you just made a whole bunch of posts in here pretending to care about incel violence, and the next thing you do is say that guns won’t solve anything for women. I can guarantee you, they will.
“It’s just very interesting to me that the minute it was WOMEN who would have firepower, suddenly your tone changed. Before you knew i was a gun owner it was all about ’we gotta do something about these incels’ and then suddenly when i am the better trained gun owner who can teach other women how to use guns, suddenly guns aren’t the answer anymore. That’s very interesting.”
You see it in so many things. Like when women pursue fitness and health suddenly it’s bad that we are strong. Suddenly we are too into into it or it’s too expensive or taking up too much of our time (20-30 min a day isn’t taking up a lot of time folks).
Essentially, many men (and misogynist women) want us in this constant depleted state of lacking energy and strength because then we’ll just do what other people want us to do. Right?
I mean you can’t let slaves get happy and strong or they will stop doing all this free stuff for you.
The thing is, I think a lot of American women don’t even realize how much they’ve internalized those “don’t be strong” messages. They listen to their husband or boyfriend and don’t work out because he claims it will make her ‘masculine’ (it won’t; it’ll just make her mentally strong enough to tell him to fuck off, stop taking his shit and then kick his ass). They listen to people telling them to stay home with kids and not go back to school or work. They listen to men telling them not to do any type of challenging sport.
It’s all because men are happier if we are weak and run down.
As someone who is constantly on a learning curve, I’ve seen all of this over and over again. I am regularly in environments where I refuse to be diminished or told I “can’t” do things. I have a lot of practice looking men in the eye and smiling and saying, “you do you, I’ll do me.”
I will not compete with men or get into their game playing about how they’re gonna make me “better” in order to try to control or handbrake my progress.
The person who’s gonna make me better is me, bro, and I know it. I’ve been coached by the best, and you aren’t it. Step off.
And that’s why I’m telling women: go to the gym, get that new health treatment, apply for that job, go back to school. Because I know that none of that other shit is about the actual benefit of the woman, it’s just to keep her down and thinking she can’t do it.
Well, she can do it.
We all can.