So this is gonna be a series probably, but I want to take some time to talk about how much Haterade one gets as a female (especially non white female) motorcycle rider and gunshooter.
I went to get this bike inspected this AM and ran the usual gauntlet of resentful looks, stares, and jokes that occurs anytime a woman shows up confidently doing something that other people (including other women) see as being “out of a woman’s place. I call all of this the Haterade – the unwarranted, random, little – petty- person negativity that always comes toward a strong woman doing her own thing just because she wants to do it.
I’ve always wondered about the Haterade, which usually shows up in the form of disapproving looks, resentful body language, and jokes that try to be cutting but are just usually profoundly stupid and fall short. Because, you see, when you are someone who actually Does A Thing, the jokes and snarky comments of those who don’t Do The Thing are simply laughable.
I used to write for a pretty major gun blog and one of the pieces I wrote was about how men would behave when we went to the range together. What I learned was that most men think it’s cool until the moment he realizes I’m a better shot, at which point a meltdown ensues and then I never hear from the guy again. The assumption in many “man’s world” sports is that if a woman is showing up, she must not know anything about what she’s doing and need to be taught, so when you actually possess even moderate expertise or knowledge, it causes consternation and rage.
Of course I have my awesome male friends who aren’t like this which is why those are the men I associate with. But also of course, there are always those people around. And they just HAVE to make comments and HAVE to look at you resentfully and HAVE to be snarky.
So many women ask me how I deal with this. The truth? I think it’s funny. I know full well that people that petty are precisely that way because they’re insecure. I don’t consider assuaging the insecurities of others to be my problem. So i just leave it alone, because sooner or later, they’re gonna be so wound up that they’re gonna blurt out something that lets me respond in a way that makes it clear they are a fool, and I will sleep peacefully that night.
Don’t let it get to you ladies and AFABs. Remember that all talented and interesting people have haters. Let me know if you need help.