Talking with someone newly dating after a divorce the other day. Real question she asked me: “What’s a boyfriend?”
I sighed because that question was the epitome of why people don’t know what to do with themselves anymore. I would say a boyfriend is a guy you see regularly, you like him a lot and he likes you, you don’t have plans to break up, you have a romantic relationship and clear boundaries and you do fun stuff together.
It’s simple right? But no not these days. Women get all these complicated excuses. “I’m not ready for a relationship.” “I’m not sure about commitment.” ”I just want friends with benefits.”
My dudes. If you are seeing a woman regularly and you have all the things i just described. YOU’RE IN A DAMN RELATIONSHIP PERIOD. That is what it is. Stop with all this other bullshit.
Anyway. My rule for the ladies who seek out my advice is that you get clear with yourself first what you want, lay it out to the man and if he’s not down with it? Move on. Someone trying to get complicated at the very beginning has issues that are only going to get more frustrating as things go on, so just don’t do that to yourself.
Stability and commitment are not things that healthy people are allergic to. It doesn’t mean you’re getting married tomorrow and it doesn’t mean you are getting on the relationship escalator. It just means what I described above. The rest is up to if things develop and how they do, and time is the only factor there.
And most of all, it should be fun. You should be having fun. You know what’s not fun? Endless hours long discussions with a confused man about how he doesn’t want commitment while also wanting to see you 2-3x a week and not wanting to you date other people. That is NOT fun. So just don’t do it.
Love you all!