Ok so I’ve had about 18 conversations with ppl about online dating and whew! Y’all, i got some things to say.
1. The only thing online dating seems to consistently and successfully do is make people mad. Like real mad. Like bitter, jaded, angry AF.
People. PEOPLE. There are lots of reasons this is the case (all the liars, all the narcissists, I get it) but HOLY HELL. I gotta say right here: doing something that makes you an angry, bitter, suspicious, jaded person is BAD FOR YOUR DATING LIFE. Well, and it’s just bad for your mental health. It makes you a less-good, less-nice, MUCH LESS DESIRABLE PERSON.
Folks gotta really consider this aspect more when making this choice, online dating can literally turn you into someone undateable once you’re that pissed off. I would not suggest this personally.
2. See the whole problem is, it’s like looking at cars you can’t afford, or that really wouldn’t be right for your needs but they look great on the app. But really, they don’t fit you or your life. Even if you’re attracted or whatever, you’re gonna spend a lot more time doing things and talking with a person in a relationship, but the apps are all about “does this look good in my driveway.” Which is not a good place to make relational decisions from.
3. Online dating means people start from a place of distrust and suspicion instead of a place of openness and curiosity. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST PLACE TO START FROM. But it’s also true that it’s stupid to NOT be suspicious on the apps (because of all the liars, cheaters, narcissists etc.). So the whole thing is set up in a way that actually starts from the worst possible place and you HAVE to do that to stay out of the worst situations. This is all just bass ackward. It can’t even work.
4. I think it’s like an addiction for people. They keep doing it even though they hate it and they get no results. Which is weird. If it wasn’t an addiction, people would stop cause it doesn’t feel good. I liken it to losing money in the casino cause you just keep on pulling that handle, but all it does is make you more and more broke. You are not “winning.”
5. I think people have forgotten that lasting relationships are based on deep friendship. I think people have forgotten how to make friends because of the apps.
What i do know: the amount of time and energy Americans spend on this shit could probably fix most of the problems in our society if that energy was turned in other directions.