A young one was talking to me the other day about myself – the way the young ones do, with so much honesty and frankness. He said, “the thing about you is, you are just on such a high level with so many things, and I want to be like you when I grow up, and I’m also scared by you.”
We had a good talk, me and this 20 year old kid, about that fear and how that fear drives people to avoid, sabotage and stay away from the very things that would help them grow. Like, it’s a lot easier to just choose someone else who’s fucked up like you and muddle along in your comfort zone without any challenge than it is to consciously choose to involve yourself with people who will challenge your bullshit, expand you, and MAKE you grow simply by being around them.
I really thought about this conversation a lot over the next handful of days. I recognized from what he said that indeed, for a lot of people, I am that “level up person,” the one that holds them to and develops the best of themselves. Another young one said to me yesterday at the end of my day, “You are my absolute most incredible platonic love in the world, you are amazing and you uplift all of us and I just can’t stop loving you for it.”
Like that was deep. That hit home. This is what real love looks like. It’s hard. It’s challenging. It’s NOT EASY to place someone who levels you up in your life. I know, because I DO IT ALL THE TIME and I am well aware of the pain and anger and desire to fight the universe that it brings up, because i go thru and have gone thru the same shit with my own teachers, physical training, firearms, Buddhism, what have you.
But you know something? There is just a level of duke-it-out ENERGY that has to be part of the thing. Because otherwise you’re just maintaining in a shitty comfort zone. It might not always feel good but it IS good.
Now, how hard is this R7 gonna school me? We already all know the answer. It’s going to make me feel humiliated, stupid, like a beginner all over again, and scare the fuck out of me as I learn. I’m going to have to eat a lot of shit and stow my ego and be humble and open minded. Again and again.
I’m here for it.
Because this is what love is.